‘Tis The City That Is Foggy…

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-Laaaa…

The retelling of this trip is going to be an ongoing project; there is so much to tell and so many pictures to show that I am really going to have to pace myself.  Since my first somewhat stressful experience was the fact that the whole trip was almost cancelled before it even began, I thought I would begin there.

Saint John Fog

Any Saint Johners reading this blog will be extremely familiar with the picture shown above.  Yes, it’s good old Saint John fog.  And because that good old Saint John fog almost ended my trip before it started and wreaked havoc with my arrival home afterward, I thought it deserved a nice picture and story here on the blog. 

It’s Monday morning, June 30th.  I have been packing frantically, hoping beyond hope I haven’t forgotten anything crucial.  I have a case of the nerves and I’m not sure why, I’ve travelled before, maybe I forgot to pack something for Kennedy, maybe I’m worried about being away from my family for a week, maybe I’m uneasy because I’m usually super organized and we didn’t get our final itinerary before leaving – I do not know where I am sleeping tonight…who knows?  There could be any number of reasons for these nerves.  I feel a little silly. 

It’s an 11:30am flight, which is really nice.  Usually to get to Toronto or Montreal from Saint John, you’re leaving at 6am.  I arrived well-rested and with some time to spare, as Graeme had to be getting down to work in Pennfield.  After checking in, getting rid of my checked bags and doing the obligatory bathroom break, I began reading Faye Schulman’s book, “A Partisan’s Memoir: Woman of the Holocaust.”  Reading about her early life in Poland, the Jewish life that was there before the war, her friends, family, and the rituals they engaged in has somehow calmed me down.  It has reminded me of one of the purposes for the trip, to learn about the way of life, such as that of Faye Schulman’s, and how it was taken from them to help me appreciate what they lost. I know the feel of this book will change when she will describe her next phase of life as a Partisan who helped fight against the Nazis, but the early chapters about life & family have had a soothing effect on me as I no longer feel the nerves I’d had as the morning began.  I guess I chose the right book to bring along with me. 

And then…

Just as the calm was setting in, I’d gone past security and settled into the glass wall-encased room to await my boarding call, the following announcement comes over the loud speaker: “For those of you traveling on flight 8947 to Toronto, your flight has been cancelled, please report back to the ticket counter.”  So much for calm.   My heart jumped right up into my throat, I thought to myself, “If I don’t get to Toronto, I’m not going on this trip – I won’t be able to fly to Warsaw on my own and find them!”  I waited in the long line-up thinking about the fact that the trip was going to be over before it began.  I knew it was foggy out, but didn’t realize it was that foggy!  That was one of the longest line-ups I’d ever waited in.

It was decided that they would bus us to Moncton, for a later flight to Toronto.  Instead of now arriving at 12:45pm and going to the orientation with the rest of the March of the Living group, I would be arriving at 5pm, with enough time to grab my bags and rush over to the Polish LOT airlines area to meet up with them and check in for the 6:30pm flight to Poland.  It would be a stress and there would likely be some running involved, but at least I would make it!  I called Graeme from a pay phone and had him call Michael, who was the director of the program, to tell him about the mix-up and Michael assured him they would have someone waiting at he baggage carousel when I flew in to meet me. 

Arriving in Toronto, I met up with the group, who had already all had the opportunity to get to know each other over the course of the afternoon and discovered the next bit of travel news:  our flight to Poland was delayed…FOR EIGHT HOURS!!!  Yep, we were now not leaving until 2:30am so we had the evening in Toronto to do whatever we wished.  Because Holly had never been to the CN Tower, we took a shuttle bus into town and did the tower, it was actually nice to have a breather before jumping directly from one plane to another.  We all met up again at midnight and took off at 2:30am for the long, eight-hour flight to Poland.  I didn’t manage to get much sleep on the flight as there was a large group of pre-teens sitting just next to me who decided they wanted to party all night, which was disappointing, but what can you do?

So, here we are, pretty darn tired, sitting on the floor of the Warsaw airport, waiting for the other group to arrive (some of the members of our group had to fly out of Newark, NJ – they were also delayed!).  We arrived the next afternoon, Polish time.  We were pooped after having been awake for about 24 hours but hey, WE MADE IT!!!  (little did we know, it’d be 5:30am the NEXT MORNING before we made it to our first hotel stop, but that’ll have to be the next post)

Lisa & Holly, sitting on the floor of the Warsaw airport

Quick Hello

Holly and I have found an Internet cafe here in Poland and actually have had a free second so I thought I would pop in and say hello.  This trip has been amazing and I have so much to share when I get home; it would have been impossible to write anything during the trip, we haven’t had a moment’s rest and literally fall into bed each night.  This is good as we are learning a lot and getting as much in as possible. 

Take care and I’ll be back on Monday!

Emotions

I knew from the start that this would be an extremely emotional experience for me but I think this fact may have gotten a little lost during the coordination of all of the logistics to go on the trip: paperwork, financial set-up, doctor’s appointment, and so on. I was also finishing up the term in university: doing final papers, studying for and writing final exams, and completing my final duties I had with the Education Society. It wasn’t until the week I had between winter session and spring session, when I could really get into some of the reading and watching of the documentaries, that the impact of this trip began to truly set in.

The books are very powerful and when I read them, there is an overall sadness that comes over me as I really begin to think about things. I have found, though, that watching the documentaries really affects me even more deeply. Seeing Elie Wiesel’s face as he and his friends travel back to his old home in Sighet, then to Auschwitz and other sites, hearing the words of his novel being read and listening to he himself talk about things was just overwhelming for me. It was the same watching the Anne Frank documentary and A Prayer for the Dead.

My classes are in the evening and my children are in school during the day, so it is then that I borrow my daughter’s room for a little while to sit on her bed and watch these documentaries, as I have no VCR with which to play the video tapes anywhere else. I learned quite quickly that I need to ensure I have tissue handy because I cannot control the inevitable tears that will flow as I listen to the stories being told while watching the photos or video clips shown at the same time. I never realized before how exhausted one can become and the emotionally-draining toll that can happen just from reading and watching about something.  I feel the fatigue afterward that one feels after they’ve just been to a funeral for a family member or close friend- that heavy, laden feeling that comes after many hours of crying and sorrow.   

So I wonder, how can I ever possibly be ready to go to the actual sites where this happened if I am a mess just reading about it or watching footage about it?  Can anyone ever ready themselves?  I am thinking that the answer to this is definitely no. 

 

Preparations

The organization running the March of the Living program is sending out an education packet for us soon.  I’m trying to get the most of out of this trip as possible, though, so I have been reading some books and watching some documentaries to try and learn as much as I can before I go.  This post will be updated as I continue.  In addition to the reading online I’ve done (most of the links are on the right, under “Education”), so far this is what I’ve read/seen:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl – this one I began reading on the advice of one of my professors before I knew about the trip, just because he had mentioned it in class. 

Night  by Elie Wiesel – I am just finishing this book now. 

Elie Wiesel Goes Home documentary directed by Judit Elek

Anne Frank Remembered documentary directed by Jon Blair

A Prayer for the Dead documentary Herzl Kashetsky, directed/produced by Lisa Lamb

Holocaust: the events and their impact on real people (USC Shoah Foundation Institute, published by DK Publishing) with foreword by Steven Spielberg – this 190 page book and DVD with survivors telling their stories actually came in with Kennedy’s book order from school for only $20. 

I also bought a Holocaust stories pack of novels that were advertised in Kennedy’s school book order; I don’t know if I’ll have time to read them before the trip but they will be read for sure.  I think these books would be great for students learning about the Holocaust.  The set included: 

• Heroes of the Holocaust: True Stories of Rescues by Teens by Allan Zullo and Mara Bovsun
• Destined to Live: A True Story of a Child in the Holocaust  by Ruth Gruener
• My Bridges of Hope: Searching for Life and Love after Auschwitz  by Livia Bitton-Jackson
• When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit  by Judith Kerr
• Malka  by Mirjam Pressler

Rise and Fall of the Third Reich  by William Shirer – I’ve just taken this out of the library, I don’t know if I will get it all read before the trip (especially with 4 courses on the go) but the advice to read this one comes from a most trustworthy source, so I shall give it my best shot.

If anyone knows of any other documentaries or books I should see/read, give me a shout.  Another good friend and trusted source suggested a couple of books but I can’t find the email from her – Erica if you’re out there, email me!

*Update: as I was typing this post, a former professor of mine emailed me and graciously invited me to his class on this coming Wednesday to hear a Holocaust survivor speak. 

Why “How?”

In late January of this year, I received an email from the Education Department at my university, detailing an opportunity for educators or those enrolled in education programs across Canada called March of the Living for Educators. This program is subsidized by the Regional Jewish Communities of Ontario. I read over the email and was immediately interested, as the Holocaust was something I’d always meant to learn more about but never had. Also, I had a professor who gave a talk about the Holocaust during one of my education courses and it made me realize how little I knew about it. Thus began the journey that will see me leaving for Berlin, Germany on June 30th, 2008 for what I am certain, will be a powerful, life-changing trip.

Excerpt from the email:

It is my pleasure to announce that a very special March of the Living for Educators program will be taking place this summer. From June 30- July 7, 2008 Canadian educators will be taking part in a March of the Living program designed especially for them. Educators will visit the sites central to understanding the enormity of the Holocaust, that will prepare them to teach about the Holocaust in a meaningful and personal way. This is a unique opportunity for Canadian educators since no other program has prepared or impacted Canadian educators as the March of Living has.

My first “how” came with figuring out how I could make this work financially.  Knowing there was an upcoming deadline for the Student Educational Opportunities Fund (SEOF) at the university, I put an application in to them to see if they would be willing to support my participation. I was pleased that my university also saw the value in a program such as this; they were extremely supportive, offering me funding for just over half of what I needed to go on the trip. I knew I would find a way to make it happen with the rest of the cost, so I decided to apply. This involved filling out a very comprehenisve application, writing an essay, getting the required physical papers and reference letters filled out, and sending it off to Toronto by the deadline of March 30th. Some might balk at the length of the application, however, I thought that it spoke to the organisers’ goal of having participants who were truly committed to learning and making the most of this opportunity.

Now, those of you reading who may have had me as a student, or who have been in classes with me may have come to know that waiting for marks or responses can be somewhat of a weak spot for me, so my second “how” came with me wondering how I would make it through the long wait to hear back from the administrator of the program.  In mid April, I received the news that I had been accepted. Holly, who is a good pal of mine also from the UNBSJ Education Program, applied at the same time I did and she was accepted. We were pleased that we would have the chance to learn and travel together.

I was very surprised to hear from the administrator of the program that, although the program is open to any teacher or student in an education program in Canada, the applications of Holly and myself were the only two received from New Brunswick. The Regional Jewish Communities of Ontario want to ensure regional representation, so it worked out well for us that we were the only two, I just find it kind of sad that no other NB educators or students decided to apply for this learning experience.  How could people pass up such an amazing opportunity to learn about something so profound?

So, I’ve begun this blog as a way of chronicling my participation in the March of the Living program, both as a way to record my own thoughts and feelings and also to share my experience with others who may be interested.  To answer the question posed in the post title, the reason I have chosen “How?” as the name of my blog is because, as the program dates draw nearer and I read, watch documentaries and otherwise prepare for this trip, it is the word that most often comes to mind. I realize that may not be the most fulfilling answer to the question but as you read on, I am sure the reasons will become more readily apparent.

Thanks for coming along with me.